There’s a Fan out there in cyberspace who just loves the people he follows. He spends his free time (often putting others aside to make more) working on gestures to show his adoration. Drawings, edited music videos, entire blog entries, and even craft works like figurines et-cetera.
At first the Fan was acknowledged for his efforts, something he didn’t take for granted as he so wants to express his adoring of the them. Then suddenly, as the Fan began to rush the completion of a music video for them that he’d been working on (on and off) for months, he completed it and shared it to his beloved favorite, but to response.
The fan thought perhaps they were too busy, and needed more time, but time passed and with out response. This reminded the Fan just how world renown his beloved already was, and how easily the notification of his video could easily become lost in a sea of more important notifications of the beloved favorite. So he would send again, and then again, and then again, but nothing. He became confused, and worried.
During this time the Fan would see others sending to his beloved favorite, and quite often they would be acknowledged. The Fan tried to brush this off as coincidence, but the more frequent it became, and the more he noticed that every single attempt he made had failed to be acknowledged, the more hurt he became. He thought: “What did I do?”
Prior to this time he and his favorite had rapport that he cherished, and enjoyed to the fullest. Feeling a kinship in characteristics like their adoration for children, and compassion, and their love for artistry, for instance.
The Fan was quite elated with his beloved favorite, and constantly prayed in thanks for having a cyber-friendship on social media with them. Something he always wanted since watching his beloved favorite perform their respective craft, but was afraid to express verbally after being labeled as “creepy” for doing so to another whom he adored. The Fan already knew that the world wasn’t too keen on empathy, and it saw empathy as weird and strange because everyone was so used to cynicism and apathy. But he was determined to keep that common perception from changing his individual spirit.
The Fan continued to work, often sick and ill from his near-two decades of Glomerulonephritis, tirelessly trying to press through and show his beloved favorite, not just “how much” he adored “them” but how purely he adored his beloved favorite. He wanted to show how he appreciates them, and even though he merely likes other practitioners of their craft he adored three in particular. He continued, but still without avail.
Although it hurt the Fan to feel singled-out for what seemed like neglect, he remained devoted to his beloved favorite often focusing all of his efforts on them. His philosophy was that of integrity, as he thought to do so much or sake of his love and respect for them, rather than for attention and acknowledgments. His beloved favorite would certainly put this philosophy to the test, as soon the weeks turned into months and the fan looked back and saw no responses what so ever, all while continuing to see other receive.
The Fan wanted desperately to please his beloved favorite with his art, or his visionary editing efforts. He even wanted to amuse them with esoterically coded blog writings, but each time no idea rather it was received.
He began to move into a much needed return to prayer and fasting, using the torment he felt, as fuel to press through the difficulty of pursuing his physical goals. He would speak to his Creator daily, asking for just one sign that his beloved appreciated his work, or even thought him to be swell.
As of this very moment he remains in the most tried of faith, as he waits.